Badly Bent, Nearly Broken

There is a song by The Tractors that I think sums up my lot at the present moment .....

I'm goin' back to the country
'Cause I can't pay my rent
I may not be completely broke
But brother I'm badly bent
I don't understand
Where the money went
I'm not broke
But I'm badly bent

They warned me about the city
About the city life
But I thought I knew everything
I took no one's advice
Now I don't know where
All the money went
I might not be broke
But I'm badly bent

I am just a country boy
Tryin' to make some sense
But I'd like to ask the congress
I'd like to ask the president
Can you tell me where
All the money went
We might not be broke
But we're badly bent

Between the telephone, gas and electric bills...
Car payment and the rent
Give it everything I got
Can't seem to make a dent
I don't understand
Where the money went
I'm not broke
But I'm badly bent
Can you tell my where
All the money went
I might not be broke
But I'm badly bent

This kinda sums up my life right now. The BoD decided to change our pay schedule & it's been rough trying to get back on budget. What used to be an easily mapped out routine is now a nail-biting, breath-holding fingers-crossing fight to get the bills paid on time and have any left over to cover living expenses !

Unfortunately most of my bills fall BEFORE the 15th and that's the first paycheck of the month ! So I'm having to scrimp on the end of the month so that I have a big nuff cushion to hold me over thru the 15th. Why oh WHY couldn't they have decided on the 1st & the 15th instead of the 15th & the 30th ?!?!?!!!

Oh well, I guess it'll all work out in the long run. I DID get my tax refunds so that helps out a bit .... even if I DID want to use some of it to put away for vacay in the summer. I suppose I really don't need to leave home on vacay -- lots to do/see here. Siiiiiiiiiiiigh Part of my angst is the fact that I HATE WINTERTIME !!! Not the temps (although it HAS been colder than normal), but the seemingly unending darkness. I think I may suffer from SAD, but won't mention it to my Doc as she has enough to deal with my care as it is.

However, spring is only 23 days away & the clocks change in only 16 more days -- so I'm keeping THAT in my sights in order to keep me from going bonkers !! COMMMMM'ONNNNNN SPRING !!!!

take care .... stay kool .... be content =)

Spring Cleaning .... With A Twist

As spring is most assuredly just around the corner, my thoughts have honed in on the "essence" of spring -- rebirth, new growth, out with the old & in with the new, etc. An interesting mental phenomenon occurred and I just had to put in writing for future reference !

Recently, I had the occasion to watch a show on TV called Confessions : Hoarding. It is about people who are overwhelmed and held captive by their love for animals and the toll it takes on them, their families & their homes. After watching two shows (back-to-back), I got a nervous uneasy feeling. NO ! I'M NOT A HOARDER ! But it DID get me thinking about the accumulation of CRAP in this house. Stuff is STUFFED everywhere !! It no longer resembles a home -- it's a storage unit with two beds and a bathroom !! Immediately I got up (well during a commercial break) & grabbed paper & pen and started making a list, well actually two lists -- Things To Donate and Things to Clean Out ASAP.

In less than 5 minutes, I had a total of 20+ things to either get rid of or clean out so to regain space in the house. It was cathartic !!! But not as cathartic as it will be to GET IT DONE ! I grew up in a household created by two Depression-era parents and their 50+ years of accumulation. Something about that time in history created a generation that NEVER GOT RID OF ANYTHING. Because my Pop was in the USN for 31 yrs, every time we moved, the gov't packed us up & we moved to the next duty station. Every move saw more & more stuff being packed and delivered to the next house. When he finally retired in 1973 and we moved to the final house, the stuff accumulated in all those years, filled a two-story house, the attached garage, the attic, the basement AND AN OUT BUILDING !

So to say that I have a reactionary-formation to clutter, would be THE understatement of the century ! I swore that when I moved out & got my own place, the basic necessities were all that would be in my place. For almost 18 yrs, I lived a spartan life (for 2 yrs I slept on a mattress supported by 8 cinder blocks & some plywood !) .... and enjoyed it ! People would visit and asked if the rest of my stuff was in storage. I'd tell them no, with a clear conscience and a big smile.

I met and moved my better half into my apartment in 1997 and for awhile we stayed relatively "stuff-free." In 1998 we moved to VA & into a bigger unit -- it was the beginning of the subtle encroachment of stuff. In 2000 we bought a HOUSE and I agreed that we needed some more furniture, etc to complete the rooms. Fast forward to 2011 .... the house is boardering on overload & my temper is getting shorter and shorter.

Watching that show gave me a wide awake daymare !! Visions of my growing up in houses that were stuffed to the rafters, flashed before my eyes. No, NO, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!! I WOULD NOT TURN INTO MY PACK RAT PARENTS & OLDER BROTHER !!!! I could envision the "clean slate" that the house could become & it excited me to the Nth degree ! So I sat & waited for the better half to come home from work. I would fix her a nice snack & drink, let her decompress for a bit and then WHAMMO ! hit her with the proclamation of PROJECT HOUSE DE-CLUTTER 2011.

Well it sorta went that way -- sorta. The proclamation didn't occur till 2 days later & it was less enthusiastic, but still got the point across. "I agree. This house is on overload !" SHUT THE FRONT DOOR !!! Did my ears deceive me ? Did I just dream that convo ? No, NOOO I didn't !!! The thought of making her sign a contract (in blood preferably) and holding her to it DID cross my mind, but I decided against it -- after all, I needed the help & pissing her off would be counterproductive.

So I'm happy to say that she is going to request a couple of days in a row when I take vacay at the end of April & we're going to GI the house. I'm not sure how much can get done in 3-4 days, but by cracky, we're gonna give it a bloody go !! I can feel the lightness already !! =)

take care .... stay kool .... be content =)