Now I know what the Pillsbury Doughboy feels like !

I have NEVER in my life experienced bloating like this !!! I swear it's like that scene in The Santa Clause when Tim Allen shows up at work & is all blown up !!

My nemesis, Scaly Bitch, (the bathroom scale to the rest of y'all) hasn't played some evil trick on me -- I know this for a fact cos I threatened to pull her battery if she ever did ! I don't understand it & I can't explain it. I told the Best Half I look pregnant -- hell I FEEL pregnant ! WTF could be happening ?!?!

As I sat there in the chair trying desperately recall every morsel I stuffed down my gullet in the last 48 hours, a verrrrrrrry faint lightbulb appeared & then shone brilliantly. It matched the color of the discarded bag in the wastepaper basket -- bright yellow with red lettering ....... ahhhhhhh, yes !!! THAT'S where the bloat originated from ! It's really true, you CANNOT eat just one Lay's potato chip. And from the looks of the bag, I'm living proof. siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh It's a wonder I don't have permanent road rash from falling offen the dammed wagon !!

Yep it alllllll came rushing back to me -- home alone, reading the paper & munching on chips; playing on the 'puter & munching on chips; watching a DVD & munching on chips ........ hmmmmmm, appears to be a pattern here, eh ? Clearly I need to either keep the dammed devil-chips out of the house or GET A LIFE. I'm thinking the former is easier at this point than the latter. siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh

"You got NOBODY to blame, chicka !!! No one put a gun to your head and forced those devil-chips down your throat ! You, & only YOU are to blame here -- so OWN IT !" Ahhhhhhh yes the all too familiar self-deprecating pep talk !! Nothing but the BEST chastisement for this chicka !!! Oh boy, I laid it out in spades !!! Even the other voices in my head took cover ! It isn't pretty, but needs to happen cos these things can spiral out of control in mere minutes.

WTF is she rambling on about, you ask ?! Simple, I've fallen and I got BACK up. No more mindless munching, no more junk food in the house, no more Pillsbury Doughboy look-alike contests. Thankfully I don't fall often and rarely have repeat episodes in close proximity to the last one. But I forget sometimes that I am human and as such, have faults .... quirks .... idiosyncrasies .... stumbling blocks .... whatever term is suitable. And in trying to reign in all temptation, sometimes it back fires on me & the end result is this.

But I've accepted my fate and will strive even harder in the future to keep temptation at bay, better munchy choices at hand. So I leave you with this little piece of advice. Know your weaknesses, accept them and deal with them swiftly and handily. Only way it'll work -- I promise you ! Now I'm off to try near-drowning myself with water to help flush this crap out of my system -- cheers & bottoms up !!

take care .... stay kool .... be content
molly =)

"I've Sat Down & I Can't Get Up !"

Went back into the Y yesterday after work, like I had promised myself I would do. Imagine my surprise at the FULL parking lot !!! Ahhhhhh yesssssss, the onslaught of "It's-a-new-year-and-I'm-gonna-exercise-come-Hell-or-high-water" short-timers. I say short-timers cos they come in droves and stay rarely longer than 2 months .... just long enough to figure out that it really IS work !

Anyhoo, I managed to get a bike & plopped down for a nice heart-raising, sweat-producing ride of 20 mins @ ~ 14mph. Then cos there were NO hydraulic machines available, I opted for the elliptical instead. That machine HATES me & I waste no lost love for it either. So after some choice words regarding the programming, we were off & wellllllll, ellipticalling. 20 mins later my legs felt like spaghetti and I looked like a drowned rat. I'd say it was a successful session ! Still no machines available and I wasn't too mad as my legs probably couldn't have done anything more strenuous than carry me to my car.

Once back home I made a rookie mistake of sitting in the recliner "just to rest a bit" ........ 20 minutes later I attempted to get up out of said recliner. Success was NOT mine & the first wave of pain rushed in like a tidal wave !! Ohhhhhhhhhh the folly of thinking that I could just jump back onto that proverbial horse & ride like I'd been doing back in October ! The Best Half had to literally pull me up out of that chair ! It was then that I seriously considered eating standing up sos not to repeat another episode of "I've Sat Down & Now I Can't Get Up !" Whomever said these are our "golden years," lied ....... I'm thinking it's more like the "rusty" years ! Back at it today after work -- wish me luck & anyone have the Rescue Squad on speed dial ?!?!?! ;-)

2 0 1 1

Four little numbers which by themselves mean little to anyone. Squeeeeeeeezed together and they take on a whole new meaning. It could be the end result of computation or the destination reached when counting. But no, in this case it means the beginning of a new year ..... 365 days and 365 opportunities to better oneself, master a hobby or recipe, develop a new (and improved) outlook on life.

With it being a new year, so many start out by making a list of "resolutions" for the future -- well at least 364 days into the future. Me ? I don't believe in resolutions (so I resolve to make NONE !), but I do have some goals that I'd like to see come to fruition -- maybe even conquer ! Here they are, in no particular order of attempt ..............

1 To try & see the GOOD in people instead of the ugliness that I usually pick out.

2 To be a better partner ... more caring, more supportive, better listener .... yada, yada, yada -- jussssssssssst kidding ;-).

3 To begin a "training regime" from which I will hopefully become strong enough to commute to work riding my bicycle (when weather permits of course) which in turn will save gas, save the environment & ultimately save ME.

4 To release some weight .... saaaaaaay around 40-ish pounds (if I lose more GREAT, if I lose less GREAT -- cos getting rid of it, is waaaaaaaaay better than adding it on !).

5 Take time to READ more, engage my brain in crosswords, cryptoquotes, etc -- & step away from the electronic trappings (READ : computer & TV) that have held me captive (admittedly willingly) for years.

So there ya have it. Short list I know, but still holds TONS of possibilities, perfections, perils & pleasures ! So wish me luck & let's get this year starrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrtttttttttttttteddddddddddddd !!!!

take care .... stay kool .... be content
molly =)