It's not like the old adage tells us

It's NOT that easy to get back on that bicycle & ride. I found this out recently. First some background .........

Three years ago I decided that I wanted a bike -- not a fancy-schmancy one, just a plain old bike. Who would have thought that finding a coaster brake, single speed bike would be so HARD ???? After an exhaustive search, I found a bike -- sort of. It is a three speed with coaster brake -- I figured half right was better than none right ... right ? It is a 26inch somethingorother in metallic cadet blue -- QUITE handsome, I must admit.

Fast forward to about 2 months ago. Yeah, unfortunately things & life being what they are, I never got on that bike -- UNTIL 2 months ago .... long story & not an interesting one at that. Anyhoo, with childlike anticipation and excitement, I dragged it out from under the house & wiped it down, oiled the chain & proceeded to throw my leg over the saddle to mount & ride like the wind !!! Wellllllllllll not really.

Seems my eyes are MUCH bigger than my actual stature, for I could not clear the saddle to get my leg to the other side. Did I mention it is a BOY'S bike ?? Now I rode boy's bikes when I was younger. Yeah clearing that bar in the middle was tedious, but manageable -- at 15 yrs of age, most definitely NOT at 51 yrs of age !! But I finally managed to get on the dammed thing & DID get it going so I figured that's half the battle, right ? Noooooooooo, actually it was just the beginning of the skirmish between human versus machine.

Stopping became interesting as I clearly remember that all you had to do was push BACK on the pedals. Wellllll, that's true but only if you're riding at a normal speed not cruising speed. Push back, push back, PUSH BACK -- why isn't this infernal machine slowing ?!?! Coming up fast is the driveway & I'm still barreling along at a good clip, trying desperately trying to slow down. 15 feet .... 10 feet .... 5 feet .... DAMMIT, YOU MISSED THE DRIVEWAY !!! And DOWN the hill I went. Finally I got the bike to stop at the bottom of the hill. No way was I going to pedal UP the hill to the driveway.

Now a new problem presented itself -- how to dismount without #1 falling off, #2 tipping the bike into the ditch or #3 having me AND the bike land in the ditch. Now I'm pretty good at being semi-coordinated (for being a klutz at my core), unfortunately, this time wasn't one of those instances. So I sorta leaned & jumped and by the grace of the Divine, the bike and I managed to miss the ditch, but it DID fall over & I DID stumble, but stayed upright.

So I walked the bike back up the hill & instead of just turning into the driveway, I decided that what I needed was P-R-A-C-T-I-C-E and proceeded to try & re-mount. Seems it's easier to do this on a LEVEL surface, and not on the crest of a hill. Then I had a BRILLIANT idea !! Put the bike in the cement ditch & mount from the road !!! I can exit the ditch at the graveled end & be on my way !! WOOOOO HOOOOOOO !!!

Ahem, many an idea are best left just as that -- an IDEA. Execution was difficult, scary & downright UNgraceful to say the least. But I did manage to get back on & away I went. I did one more circuit around the neighborhood & headed back home. THIS time I hit the driveway (AND managed to miss BOTH cars !) AND get the bike to stop. Then came the dismount.

Seems in my zealousness to conquer machine, I didn't take into account the fact that I hadn't ridden a REAL bike in 30 yrs & my first outing was probably a 3 mile trek -- my legs let me know that immediately. Stumbling and eventually falling onto the patio made for a less than stellar dismount (not to mention the patio rash !) and resulted in Beener coming to my rescue by lifting the bike OFF me & helping me onto my jello-y legs. But I came up smiling, cos I BEAT THE MACHINE & WON !!

Since that reintroduction to bike riding, I have purchased a 24inch bike (21 speeds, and THAT'S a whole other story !) and have to admit that I now remember why I loved biking so much as a kid & teenager. The wind thru my hair, iPod blaring in my ears and the knowledge that I CAN go back & be a kid -- if only for an hour or so a day.