Now I know what the Pillsbury Doughboy feels like !

I have NEVER in my life experienced bloating like this !!! I swear it's like that scene in The Santa Clause when Tim Allen shows up at work & is all blown up !!

My nemesis, Scaly Bitch, (the bathroom scale to the rest of y'all) hasn't played some evil trick on me -- I know this for a fact cos I threatened to pull her battery if she ever did ! I don't understand it & I can't explain it. I told the Best Half I look pregnant -- hell I FEEL pregnant ! WTF could be happening ?!?!

As I sat there in the chair trying desperately recall every morsel I stuffed down my gullet in the last 48 hours, a verrrrrrrry faint lightbulb appeared & then shone brilliantly. It matched the color of the discarded bag in the wastepaper basket -- bright yellow with red lettering ....... ahhhhhhh, yes !!! THAT'S where the bloat originated from ! It's really true, you CANNOT eat just one Lay's potato chip. And from the looks of the bag, I'm living proof. siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh It's a wonder I don't have permanent road rash from falling offen the dammed wagon !!

Yep it alllllll came rushing back to me -- home alone, reading the paper & munching on chips; playing on the 'puter & munching on chips; watching a DVD & munching on chips ........ hmmmmmm, appears to be a pattern here, eh ? Clearly I need to either keep the dammed devil-chips out of the house or GET A LIFE. I'm thinking the former is easier at this point than the latter. siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh

"You got NOBODY to blame, chicka !!! No one put a gun to your head and forced those devil-chips down your throat ! You, & only YOU are to blame here -- so OWN IT !" Ahhhhhhh yes the all too familiar self-deprecating pep talk !! Nothing but the BEST chastisement for this chicka !!! Oh boy, I laid it out in spades !!! Even the other voices in my head took cover ! It isn't pretty, but needs to happen cos these things can spiral out of control in mere minutes.

WTF is she rambling on about, you ask ?! Simple, I've fallen and I got BACK up. No more mindless munching, no more junk food in the house, no more Pillsbury Doughboy look-alike contests. Thankfully I don't fall often and rarely have repeat episodes in close proximity to the last one. But I forget sometimes that I am human and as such, have faults .... quirks .... idiosyncrasies .... stumbling blocks .... whatever term is suitable. And in trying to reign in all temptation, sometimes it back fires on me & the end result is this.

But I've accepted my fate and will strive even harder in the future to keep temptation at bay, better munchy choices at hand. So I leave you with this little piece of advice. Know your weaknesses, accept them and deal with them swiftly and handily. Only way it'll work -- I promise you ! Now I'm off to try near-drowning myself with water to help flush this crap out of my system -- cheers & bottoms up !!

take care .... stay kool .... be content
molly =)